Life itself. The bodies of our individual lives. Pulses. Moving the products of our choices and endeavors through the complex, winding, twisted “intestines” that comprise our journey.
Likening my life right now to the digestive process is fitting. I feel deep in the “shit”.
In the middle of a divorce (a rather amicable one, compared to others I’ve witnessed of late) that I petitioned, has me literally swimming in a stew of helplessness, anger, frustration, disappointment, grief...and insanity.
Moods swing radically from Sita-like resignation and calm understanding to Kali-esque rage...wanting to rip off heads.
I mostly feel helpless. Most of the time. Which is not unlike erratic, free-radical behavior....the cancer causing kind...
Faith is what keeps me from stepping out in front of a bus. Or a train.
Well...that and I’m an optimist. This process is nourishment (full of vitamins, minerals and anti-oxidants) for what is yet to come. Blessings of beauty, joy and peace. I’m happy to say love never abandoned me. It picked me up early on...just before I crashed into the rocks of despair. It will carry me through all the shit...the storm, the muck and the mud. The “indigestion” of this temporary place.
I bow deeply to the lotus feet of those people who have helped carry me through this. Lifting me to the closest possible reaches of serenity during the times I wallowed in the mires of depression and anger. You have made me feel safe and loved. Embracing me with compassion and understanding. I am so blessed.
The contractions of this stage in my life have been made bearable...and even interesting...by the enfolding arms of my dear friends. I am so very grateful.