Overflowing drawers and thoughts. Overlapping schedules and feelings. It’s all a terrific comedy of errors.
This summer, I (we) sold our boat. Circumstances changed that required we overhaul our lifestyle. “Boatie” provided our family with hours and hours of non-drama related fun. The number one rule on the water was “Absolutely no fighting or mean words. Period”. Everyone was happy to oblige.
Boatie is gone. I expected our life to change dramatically. It did...but only briefly. For the two point five months we can consider it Summer-like weather here in the Inland Northwest. We had more money to spend on travel (versus the $200 per boat excursion for gas, etc...). And, we can focus more on Winter activities (which makes more sense...) like skiing and snowshoeing. Which we like better, anyway. *ahem. Yeah. That’s it. Tan lines be damned. Windburn is much more appealing.
Point is, we’re good. I’m alright. Without her (Boatie). If we want, there’ll be some[thing] else, I keep telling myself...
Aparigraha. Non-grasping. Fine.
“I’m good. I’ll be alright.” Playback. Repeat.
Truly. Our fun is much simpler without the financial baggage that came with Boatie. And the cascade effect of our “downsizing” and “liquidating” is proving to be equally liberating. Our dog, Max, chewed the upholstery off of three of my living room chairs. All that remain are a gnawed-on ottoman (it’s days are numbered...) and a craft-table with eight wooden chairs. Our garage is now full of half-eaten household items (with barely enough room left for my mini-van...). And I’ve discovered how easy that room is to clean. The “sparse” look is in, after all.
Liquidating. I dream of “retiring” on a thirty-foot sailboat. Not a lot of room for excess “stuff”. I’ll refuse to rent a storage unit. Won’t have a lot of clothes due to the warm climate (can’t live in a sailboat comfortably in the Northwest through the Winters....). I’ll (we’ll) ride Vespas. We’ll rent a P.O. box in Baja. Or. Hell. By then, there will be a ban on the use of paper products so everything will be digital (*GASP).
Holidays will be at someone ELSE’S house. I’ll bring the rolls.
Freedom to meditate for hours at a time. (LOL) In a small, confined space...with only the lulling motion of the ocean...and JUST enough room for one person to practice prasarita padattonasana and adho mukha vrksasana...(side to side and top to bottom). Asana to be performed in shifts (I call morning.)...assuming, by then, my adoring husband has embraced yoga asana and incorporated it into his daily practice and progress on the path. At this time, the jury is still undecided on the potential outcome of his physical practice...but his emotional and spiritual journeys inspire me beyond words...and to tears. I bow to the lotus feet of my Beloved, Matthew. In my heart, I pranam to him daily. He lives simply...and in the moment. (But, he still dreams of a Polaris 750 four-wheeler...)
Thinking...contemplating...today, I realized these years of yoga practice (two decades plus...) I am not “DOING” yoga...I’m being UN-done. Learning that less is less. And is MUCH easier. I don’t want more. But, I don’t go without. I don’t grieve that I wear five dollar flip-flops instead of Ferragamo’s...
Stuff is clutter in my life. I want a personal stylist to pick ten items (total) for me that will accommodate my gym time and formal events. If you know someone, please give them my number...
Realizing this is my progress on the Path. “WHOA!” I say. Twenty-five years ago I owned THREE cars (I wasn’t married...no kids...) Excess in it’s greatest manifestation. I had an apartment AND a storage unit. ACK. Mind you, I was only eighteen.
Trust-fund baby. Ashamed. Which is what I’m working through now. Not having the money...but how I SPENT it.
But...that’s another blog.
Just trust me on this: LESS IS LESS (which is better) and...less crap means less drama. Yep.
“You’ll be alright without [it]...there’ll be some [thing] else...[Just] keep telling [your] self...”